Posted by: deadmousediaries | February 28, 2011

The Invisible Woman – a rant from Mitchell Kyd

What a load of crap! A whole group of angst-filled women invaded the personal space of my Jeep as I was driving home last night simply to tell me that a $49 jar of face cream had rescued them from being  invisible. They weren’t the XX  chromosome complements to Wells’  Invisible Man, mind you, and it wasn’t grease paint they had purchased. They were doing a radio spot for the latest lifesaver to be tossed by the beauty industry to middle-aged women everywhere.

Their tortured vignettes all recounted how men had stopped looking at them admiringly, that strangers now looked right past them, and that the physical signs of aging in their appearance had rendered them invisible. How sad! Invisible? Really? What image do we hold of ourselves that allows us to believe that simply because our faces reflect the stories of our lives, we are invisible? Lucky for them, they had been assured they could mask their authentic selves and appear on a stranger’s radar for a paltry $49  (plus shipping and handling, of course).

I was raised by a mom who always said that she loved her gray hair. “I earned every one them,” she still jokes.  I agree. And I view all my little creases and laugh lines the same way; the face I see in the mirror is like the well-worn pages of a well-loved book, a best-seller of which I am the  author.

Women shine from the inside out and our light only grows more glorious with age. Sure, it’s wonderful to have great packaging but that doesn’t diminish all the great stuff that’ s inside. Why is it such a struggle to appreciate that?

“We think in our youth that are bodies are identified with ourselves and have the same interests,” said British writer Rebecca West, “and later realize they are heartless companions who have been accidentally  yoked to us.”

Pablo Picasso proclaimed there are only two kinds of women, goddesses and doormats. I’m guessing if you need face cream to ward off  invisibility, you can’t see yourself as a goddess.

I can’t track down who coined this distillation of how women view themselves but I love the quote:  “Women will never rule the world until they can walk down the hall naked with a bald head and beer gut and think they’re beautiful.” Amen, sister.

This rant might seem like a huge contradiction from a woman who dyes her hair purple but I assure you it’s right on track. When you’ve been purple on the inside for a very long time and it finally makes an outward appearance, that’s a good sign to the universe that you refuse to be invisible.

I say make the most of your assets and do whatever makes you feel best but don’t ever diminish who you really are by relying on your body to convey that.

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented fabulous,” asks contemporary writer and spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson. And then she asks: “But who are you NOT to be?”

Do we really need new  face cream to save us from invisibility? Let’s hope not.

Copyright 2011. Mitchell Kyd. All rights reserved.


  1. KUDOS!!! KUDOS!!!! KUDOS!!!!
    As a woman who just turned 44, and is damn proud of every year, I really love this entry in the mouse diaries. Yes, I’m a late February baby, so please don’t erase the second half of the month. :o) When people ask my age, I am proud to admit it. As I always say “I’ve earned EVERY year on this body. Some I’ve just earned harder than others.” So, please………don’t sign me up for any face cream!

  2. I love, love, love the comment referring to you as the author of your own bestseller!! That is an absolutely priceless analogy. I think it describes your image perfectly. And, of course, I agree with everything else you’ve said. As one who has become invisible to the average “Joe”, I can say that after wrestling with the ole ego, I’ve realized that there’s less pressure to be “on”, less pressure to be someone for everyone else, and a freedom to do what I choose. Thanks for the eloquent reminder.

  3. We women are so hard on ourselves. How freeing it is to just embrace ourselves for who and what we are and not on what we look like. Great post!

  4. It is time for all beautiful women of age to read this and be proud. Yvonne, you say it in such an eloquent manner and I thank you for sharing it to the world. How true what your Mom said and I urge every woman to embrace that philosophy. In the past, I have found myself being fearful to reveal my age because I think I will be judged for it. Thank you for helping me to become free……I am 74 and proud of it. I love who I am and I love those around me who respect me for my experience and my energy.

    • My dear Kathy, I cannot imagine you being fearful of…well, anything! Least of all, revealing your age. You look amazing, you are amazing, and anyone who would dare judge you should go “jump off a cliff”. (That’s the polite, public way of saying what I really meant!)

  5. I believe we have just greeted the month of March like a lion(ess)…forget that lamb stuff and hear us roar! Regardless of age, thanks for reminding us to celebrate all that we have come to be. Here’s to spending $49.95 (no shipping or handling needed) on some wine, cheese, and a couch full of great girlfriends!

  6. Flat Stanley thinks that any woman who wears purple hair and embraces the excieiment of new wrinkles is a woman who’s ready to visit Speakeasy and go firewalking. 😀

  7. Hello from Bullhead City, Arizona! My Dad (Nate) just forwarded your blog to me. Mom (Kathy) had mentioned it during our phone call yesterday. I just forwarded it to my Women’s Group. Thanks for the inspiration. Delightful!

  8. Grow old gracefully, are you kidding! I need my face cream, my hair colored , my lips puffed up, my tummy tucked, ha, ha,ha had you all going didnt I . ok so dont hit me i was just joking,lol. Yvonne i know you know me and you know i am kidding.
    Yvonne you always inspire me, i always look foward to see what you are going to write next, i just love you girl, never , never , never quit your writing because all of us beautiful ladies need you!! May God bless you

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