Posted by: deadmousediaries | July 22, 2012

News from the Path Valley Hotel, Episode #22 – Highlights from our travel brochure

After an entire career in PR and a bit of time on the fringes of politics, I have accumulated a boatload of lifetime learning credits toward my PhD in Spin. (You may have heard me say before that my husband recognizes I can tell people to go to hell and leave them looking forward to the trip.) In other words, I can sling it with the best of them.

I’m working on a travel brochure for the Path Valley Hotel and I’m thinking I should be doing some of my very best work on my own behalf, don’t you agree? Before the big reveal of what I’m sure will be an award-winning bait-and-switch masterpiece, I wanted to share a few sneak peeks just with you, my dear close friends (and the rest of you blog-reading strangers).

Brochure copy: Melt into our quiet getaway. Translation: We have no AC here and get no TV reception. We’re also 17 miles from WalMart.

Brochure copy: Immerse yourself in rustic charm.  Translation: We only have one bathroom and it has a really old tub. (But it can accommodate two guests at a time.)

Brochure copy: Our guests have unlimited access to artistic expression and cultural enrichment. Translation: I keep a box of crayons in the drawer and you can watch my daughter’s old  dance recital videos anytime you like.

Brochure copy: Enjoy fabulous views of the water from every room. Translation: We have a lot of fish bowls here. My favorite watertight resident is my beta buddy Dewey who swims back and forth across his beach chair while I do dishes every night. His tank can be illuminated from the bottom so I will probably incorporate something in the brochure later about our fabulous light shows.

Brochure copy: Renew your spirit as you visit our wildlife retreat. Translation: We have a bird bath and some feeders and oh, a salt lick on a stump.

Brochure copy: The kitchen is always open for sumptuous home-cooked meals prepared just the way you like them. Translation: Pack a lunch or bring some groceries. I’ll leave the light on for you.

Copyright 2012. Mitchell Kyd. All rights reserved.

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Responses

  1. The brochure copy sounds amazing………….the other part………..well, guess I’ll need to bring my own chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows, huh? LOL

  2. maybe we should rename it “tranquility cabin”…..—-Suzanne

  3. have you considered writing copy for real estate people?

    • Tee hee!

      Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4GLTE smartphone

  4. This hotel is shaping up to be “TRE CHIC”!! All you need is valet parking by north stump and you’re in!

    • LOL! Love your potential addition to my amenities. Doug offered a few as well so there be part 2 of the brochure post coming soon!


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