Posted by: deadmousediaries | May 29, 2014

Have Cheese Dome; Will Travel – a career shift for Mitchell Kyd?

Nothing makes a woman feel more powerful than putting on her big girls pants and removing a creepy crawly from her environs with a calm hand and cool demeanor. Whether the object of attention has a tail, looks like it’s all tail or simply has more than the acceptable number of appendages, when you stand alone to face your fears and choose to catch and release the invader rather than flee until it finds a new hiding place, you are Queen of the Universe (QU).

When you have done this repeatedly, have perfected your technique and start doing it for friends, you are entitled to flash your Queen of the Universe badge and parlay it as you please. In my case, it earned me 200 bucks.

I’m very grateful to the nearly 1,000 people who are now following my blog because YOU, all of you, feed my soul. You also reinforce the mantra I preach daily: our stories are important. Many of my stories have a point or involve some poignant reflection and I love it when I hear from someone who connects with that. I also love hearing from people who’ve had a chuckle, belly laugh or just plain snorted out loud from an account of my adventures. Life is short; laugh like you’re wearing Depends.

I’ve posted several stories about my critter encounters in this space and am happy to report that Chicken Soup for the Soul publishers liked Itsy, Bitsy Spider enough to include it in their newest edition: Home Sweet Home. I’m also happy to say that for the fifth time, I’m doing a book signing to help raise funds for a local non-profit I support.

From 9:00 a.m. to Noon on Saturday, May 31st, I will be signing copies of Home Sweet Home at the Ft. Loudon Library, 210 Mullen Street, as a fundraiser for the library. Chicken Soup for the Soul publishers offer non-profits a fabulous discount purchase program and I have underwritten the cost of 20 books for this event which means every dollar collected Saturday goes directly the library. To make it good for you, too, the books will be available for just $10, not the retail price of $14.95. Better yet, if you visit, you’ll get to meet the inspiration for this particular story – if you choose.

After removing my itsy, bitsy spider on two previous occasions and releasing him outside, he made one too many appearances on my shower curtain; he now lives in a terrarium. Whether he likes it or not, he’s coming with me to the book signing. He’s been dining on pet store crickets since his incarceration and has already gone through “ecdysis” once, (the molting of his exoskeleton) which my pet care manager daughter says is a very good sign that he’s healthy and stress-free. Well, whoop de frickin’ do. My stress has also been greatly reduced now that I always know where he is.

I’ve finally accepted how beneficial spiders are and I am no longer a squasher. Thanks to years of careful tutelage from my son, I have honed my own spidernapping skills and consider myself somewhat of an expert. If you ask, I’ll be happy to share my tried and true technique for safely removing this kind of threat with a cheese dome and follow-through flourish of a paper plate. The real challenge is snatching a spider from a soft surface like a bed pillow– but you can do it and become somebody’s hero.

The gun-slingers of the Old West were in high demand as deterrents and even exterminators to help control the “undesirable element” of emerging America. Their ads read: Have gun, will travel. I’m thinking that in the 21st century, there might be a market for a woman with my particular skills and QU certification. Watch for my ad appearing soon: Have cheese dome; will travel.


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