Posted by: deadmousediaries | August 11, 2014

Wishing You Many Years of Continued Sex- a story for a full moon night from Mitchell Kyd

Tonight promises us another beautiful full moon and from where I sit, it has arrived with the best of summer weather. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate it than to wish you a little happiness. The post below is replay of  another of my crazy true stories.  If you were reading in 2012, it’s a rewind. If not, well, it’s new to you. Either way, it can’t help but bring a smile and who doesn’t need more of that???


Wishing You Many Years of Continued Sex

Who among us has never been trapped in a cramped meeting spot and tortured to exhaustion by a long-winded speaker? There’s a great rule of thumb when it comes to making speeches:  “The mind will absorb only what the butt can endure.” Too bad so many speakers have never heard of that.

“Under-promise and over-deliver,” is other guidance great speakers will  follow if they really want you to remember their message. But when was the last time a speaker promised you something you’d really like to have?? It happened once in my lifetime.

Imagine 1200 people gathered around their pricey plates of bad hotel food at yet another lengthy banquet at a three-day convention. A full slate of speakers has already coaxed and cajoled, enticed and entertained them into a coma. Enter a polished young woman who speaks from her heart and charms them back from their carb-induced stupor with a few short and refreshing remarks punctuated with authentic enthusiasm.  They applauded her as a fresh, pure face among the parade of endless reports and shameless self-promotions.

“Always leave them wanting more,” advised legendary showman Walt Disney. And she did.  She surveyed her audience from the podium, summoned her most engaging smile and concluded by saying: “I wish you many years of continued success!”

The words hung in the air. A titter swept out from the center of the crowd like a nuclear blast until the whole room exploded in laughter. I’m not sure how often any of us get blessings from speakers that are really worth the anticipation but she had generated one that night.

After a whole  year of special appearances, of meeting and greeting the media and legislators alike, and after speaking to more than 200 audiences, she had finally hit on the phrase for which she is now best remembered. She had indeed left them wanting more with just one small slip of the tongue: “I wish you many years of continued sex.”

When the dust had settled and the crowd had calmed down, she outstretched her arms and laid her head down on the lectern.  What more could she say. Nothing, as far as a the crowd was concerned, and lots of people left the room smiling that night.  And many were smiling again in the morning. Ah, the impact of a powerful thought.

The critical financial reports of the convention were quickly  forgotten and the high-powered keynote’s name was gone in an instant. But convention goers will no doubt return again in hopes that another banquet speaker will again wish them something that they really want: many years of continued sex.

It’s makes a wonderful story, I know, and you’re wondering… But it’s also a tale too tall not to be truth.  It happened as reported and I  know it– because that speaker was my 19-year-old daughter.



  1. Well worth a re-reading! Thanks!

  2. Laughed a lot rereading in the middle of a weird sleep schedule. Thanks!

  3. This one got me laughing out loud in my barracks room like a mad man as I remembered the original telling (as i heard it) at the following family gathering that year.

    • And now you have brought a big smile to MY face!!

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